On Anger
I’m in regular contact with a Buddhist priest in Japan. Although he would say that he is merely conveying the teachings of Honen Shonin, I consider him my teacher. He is a gem of a man, often lending an ear to my petty troubles and offering advice without judgment or pretense.
In Buddhism, there’s the concept of Upaya, or ‘skillful means’. The Dharma is never treated as a dogmatic ideology. Rather, it’s a prescription tailored to the individual; the right medicine for the right person at the right time. The Buddha is the doctor, the Dharma is the medicine, and dukkha (suffering) is the sickness. I guess we could think of the Sangha as the nursing staff.
This means that the advice I receive might not be right for another person. And it’s for this reason that I hesitate to write about this at all. There’s also a certain sanctity to the student-teacher relationship and I don’t want to sully it.
So, with all that in mind, I think the best I can do is offer my own reflection. This site is little more than my outlet, after all.
Dealing with it
Anger is one of the Three Poisons, along with Greed and Ignorance. These are the fundamental ‘unwholesome states’ that act as the root cause of suffering and keep us trapped in the cycle of birth and death.
Addressing our anger is one of life’s great challenges. The aggressive impulse comes so naturally to us. Five minutes of driving or watching the news is enough to light the fire in me. In another life, as a US Marine infantryman, anger was cultivated. I was trained to keep it close and use it in battle. We were to be incarnations of hate and violence. Such conditioning can be difficult to reverse.
So what can be done when that fire burns bright?
The higher approach
Return to the principle of impermanence (anicca), first of the tilakkhaṇa, or the Three Marks of Existence, which define the nature of reality. This is the realization that everything, without exception, will eventually pass away. All things are in constant flux.
It reminds me of old lessons on Heraclitus of Ephesus, who famously said, “You cannot step twice into the same river; for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you.”
Equally fundamental is an understanding of the law of cause and effect (karma). A person who abides in anger, who provokes it in others, is already receiving their retribution. We might direct our anger outward, convince ourselves it’s righteous, but in the end, we suffer for it.
The psychological approach
Don’t bother trying to repress it. Face it head on, accept and acknowledge it as something natural under the circumstances. Guilt can be an insidious side effect. An inner voice sometimes whispers, “You shouldn’t be angry. You’re supposed to be compassionate.”
Nip that self-loathing in the bud. We are bonbu – just ordinary, unenlightened people. Amida Buddha is compassionate; I am merely a fool trying my best. This humble realization can immediately clear the air, giving us space to move forward.
The physical approach
The physical and mental are not separate entities, but rather, they are co-dependent processes. Nāmarūpa, name-and-form. Physical sensations trigger mental reactions and vice versa. When anger is present, not only do we feel it in the body, but we can address it with the body.
Let it out! Hit the heavy bag, move something heavy, get in your car and scream until you’re hoarse. When anger has manifested as raw physical energy, we can release it in a variety of ways without doing harm to another.
Of course, it’s easy to write all this, but a bit harder to remember in the moment. That’s part of why I’m putting it here. Writing it out helps it stick.