Blacktop Bop
My father is a very devout man. He regularly uses words like ‘soteriology’ and ‘eschatology’. Given the opportunity, he will wax poetic about a cosmic struggle between good and evil and how we were created to worship the god of Abraham.
I don’t think he was always like that. When I was young, one of my sisters died. I remember him praying in the hospital. He said it was Jesus that kept him from completely losing it. Who am I to take away a life raft from a drowning man?
When I want to discuss something with him, I will sometimes gently preface the question with something like, “Without recourse to religion...” This approach doesn’t always work. In his mind, all roads lead to Rome Jerusalem.
I was running errands with my son earlier. On the way home, staring down a long, straight two lane road, with a/c blasting away the Texas heat, I felt content. I had nothing particular in mind – no plans, no worries, no nagging thoughts. It was just a brief flash of pleasant emptiness.
I wondered to myself, what’s the difference between apathy and contentment? I thought it would be an interesting question to ask the old man, but I’m not sure I’m in the mood to hear the mental gymnastics tying it back to the Holy Spirit.
So here I am rambling into the void.
Apathy. A-pathos. Without feeling. And contentment. Contentus. Contained or satisfied. If one feels content, they don’t want anything. It’s the absence of a craving or desire. I would argue that not feeling something isn’t a feeling at all, but rather, a mental state characterized by the absence of feeling. Thus, it’s akin to apathy, though the latter has a negative connotation in colloquial usage.
Perhaps that negativity stems from its source. When one is apathetic, it’s often the result of fatigue or indifference. Contentment seems to be inherently positive. I’m pleased with the way things are in that moment.
So maybe they exist together on a spectrum? I don’t know.
I’m certain there’s more to be worked out here. Lately, I’ve been making an effort to be less reliant on the internet. It would be easier to have Gemini give me all the answers, but I fear for my own critical thinking abilities. They’ve been blunted by technology. It’s far too easy to never think for yourself these days.
Oh well, no answers today. I’ll settle for tea instead.